Well, yes, I know that those of you who know what EC is all about are laughing right now, saying “what on earth?”
But I have been accused three times now (once via comment on this blog, twice via email received from my email addy being listed as the local contact at diaperfreebaby.org). One of those emails directly accused me of abuse and threatened to call CPS. (I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that one.)
So, how could EC be considered molestation? or even sick? or dirty? Here’s the facts:
- With EC, a baby poops or pees in a toilet, then his or her bum is wiped clean. With diapers, a baby poops or pees in the diaper, then the excrement must be cleaned off the baby’s entire butt, genital area, and who knows where else. It seems clear that diapering involves a lot more genital touching than does EC.
- With EC, a baby’s waste products go directly into a toilet, then flushed into the sewage system. With diapers, a baby’s waste products sit in their diaper for a period of time. Babies are figuratively stewing in their own waste. When a diaper is changed, if it’s a disposable diaper, the waste usually ends up in the garbage and then in a landfill, which is completely disgusting. If it’s a cloth diaper, waste generally ends up where it belongs – in the sewage system.
- With EC’d boys, there is some touching of the genitals. I do aim Wally. He’s only starting to get the basics of aim, but usually only manages to put his hand directly in the stream when attempting to aim with his hands. (He does better with his hips and body position, though.) So, yes, I do touch…”it.” But I touch it when I bathe him, too, and I don’t think there’s anyone who could consider bathing to be molestation.
I’m not sure what the misperception is that leads people to believe that EC is even remotely related to molestation. I believe it’s just another symptom of how messed up our society has become. People believe that breastfeeding is molestation or abuse. People believe that EC is molestation or abuse. But people have no problem with hitting their children (called spanking), people have no problem with leaving infants to cry alone in a crib (called sleep training), and people have no problem with ignoring the simple requests of their small children day after day after day (called discipline, or showing the child who has control).
These things are abuse. Not EC.
Perhaps you’ve put your finger on part of the issue… semantics. If we call something discipline or training, we see the value. Or, if we do things in the name of love… there’s value there too.
So, I propose some new words for EC… extra commitment. It does, after all, require paying attention to one’s child, being there for the child.
It’s also interesting to me that we in the Western world label practices that flourish in the “third world” as dirty or abusive. Seems to me that most children on the planet know the intimate commitment of mother’s breast and mother’s attentive ear (to help baby stay diaperless, clean, fresh, and independent).
Sarah,
LOVE your blogging on EC! I agree – I have spent so little time in contact with my son’s genitals it is a ridiculous comment to compare EC to molestation, any more than saying people who extend- diaper must be perverts, or bf to need. What a joke!
Perhaps people who think that are just looking for publicity? Just like that embarrassingly brainless”training the parent” comment – what an old wheeze!
I’m glad I’ve spent so little time smearing poop around his bottom trying to remove it. No thanks!
Charndra at Tribal Baby
http://www.tribalbaby.org
I totally agree with you and both the comments made. It’s all about what you see, how you perceive what you see and what you’ve absorbed from society to be “right” ways to parent.
Thanks for posting!
What in the hell are you people talking about? Aiming a child’s penis? If a child is too young to aim his penis, he is not ready to be potty-trained. Period. When my son was ready to pee-pee in the toilet, he let me know he wanted to try, and did so. He learned this from watching his daddy.
Actually, that’s factually inaccurate, though certainly the prevailing opinion in this country.