Man. So today, Capitol City Swing performed at the Des Moines Arts Festival. Randy’s parents had agreed to hang out with Wally while we danced, and Randy’s older sister who is visiting from Arizona came along, too.
pause for a moment. Wally’s been going through this thing for several months where he’s not super excited about a lot of people other than us. He gets very shy, he takes a LONG time to warm up, he’s very clingy. We’ve sat through dinners with Randy’s family where Wally just sits on my lap with his head buried in my chest. However, he seems to be OK with Grandma and Grandpa by themselves, and he’s OK with my mom by herself, etc. But larger groups, not so great.
OK, so I thought that Grandma and Grandpa were going to take Wally off to see some of the fun activities for kids while we danced. No, instead they decided to sit and watch, with Wally sitting in his stroller.
pause for a moment. Wally thinks he should be dancing with us any time he hears music.
So after our first song, I looked out and Wally’s crying and unhappy. I was not really needed for the second song, so I went out and held him for a bit, then ran back up for the next song. After watching him completely sob through the next two songs, I sent our alternate in and went down to be with him.
Because I was sooo not going to let him cry like that. I’m not kidding you here - he was crying sooo hard, and asking for mommy.
So when I got down there, both my mother in law and my sister in law said “oh, you didn’t need to come down here, he’s fine!” I looked at them like they were insane and said that I was hardly going to let him cry like that. I mean, people, he was obviously not fine. What I should have said was “how would you like it if your friends and family just left you to cry like that and said you were fine?”
He’s fine.
Man.
I ended up holding him for a few songs, then trading off with Randy.
Kind of like when people say the baby can’t be hungry, because he just ate! Never mind all the cues the baby is giving.
I always want to ask these people, how would you feel if you wanted a drink of water or a snack, and your spouse said you can’t be hungry or thirsty, because it’s not time for your next meal?
At least you have the balls to do what you think is right. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve steeped in regret over letting my MIL, preschool teacher or some other “older/wiser” woman shame me into submission where my son’s concerned. I’d take back each one, but I have to also concur that he seems to have survived despite my sheepish behavior. That said, please remember that they, too, are trying to do their best and probably feel like they failed you more than they feel like you’re over-reacting. But they probably feel like you’re over-reacting a little, too