Well as long as I’m being judgemental…

I know this is unfair. I know many kids who go to preschool and daycare who are very nice, well-mannered children. And I know many who do not and who are not.

BUT. Having been around many children recently, children of friends and children of customers, the ones who go to daycare and preschool have just been reinforcing my decision to NOT send W to either one.

I’ll just leave it at that.

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6 responses to “Well as long as I’m being judgemental…

  1. I will say, the behavior is different.

    Long term the behavior is different too.

    It’s not just that they go to daycare either, it is the attitude and connectedness of the parent to child that really matters and sometimes going to daycare/school for parenting is just a symptom of that. I hear all the time from friends that send their babes to school, “I just could never do it, I need a break from them….”

    Yikes. I like my kid. I need a break sometimes too, but not 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. You know? An hour at the library or a nap is usually enough, maybe once a month. LOL.

  2. Ditto. I watched a couple girls and seeing my inlaws kids-I never regret or doubt myself for my choices, whether it be attachment parenting, or staying home, or being just plain odd. I am especially thankful, though, for finding friends who have the same ideas. It would be more difficult to resist the urge, even in knowing that I didn’t like what I saw in others, without likeminded mamas around.

  3. Each child is different, and some will thrive in preschool, while others will do better without preschool.

    I do think that a seven or eight-hour day apart from family is too much “work” for most babies and toddlers.

  4. I’m going to go ahead and say that it extends into childhood. 7-8 hours a day is too much for any child, not just those under 6. Considering that they also sleep 8-10 hours and have the practicle hours of downtime, alone play, eating, and hygene- add in any extra cirricular activities…….suddenly time spent with a developing child is a tiny percentage of their day/week/life. Suddenly they are being raised by other people/influences.

    Good age for this? Much later than 6.

    I see in my work, semester, sad disconnected young adults that have no free thinking and a fear of authority. They have a hard time seeing me as a person, not just a teacher. They have a deep seeded hatred of their families, school, and life in general. Their passions are dimmed.

    They were all raised in daycare and PS.

  5. I have to agree with mamap’s first post about it being more the attitude of the parents. Because when I was thinking about preschool/daycare kids I know who are still really really nice kids, I was thinking about the kids of Laurie B, Natalie, and others I know from HMN, API, etc. Natalie’s oldest thrived in preschool, and I certainly don’t think Laurie’s oldest was harmed by school.

    I also do not disagree with the thing about the long hours in school being too much for young children. It’s such a long time. Have you read the book Better Late Than Never?

    But public school is great for some kids. And not great for others. And some of us come out of it pretty well off DESPITE our experiences. I largely homeschooled myself after school – I pursued my own interests, did research projects, wrote papers (geek!!), completed special projects. And I endured the hours at school. Sadly, I also let the classes at school suck the fun out of math and science. (I mean, proofs? What the heck? that’s when I stopped trying to learn math, and switched to trying to endure the classes. I did the minimum necessary to get an A, but no more. By the time I hit college, I had completely given up. I took one math-related class – statistics. I did all the homework for the year after the first class, and never opened the book again all semester. I read my Mensa newsletter during class. How snotty was that? But I wasn’t obvious about it. I just had to show up, and I didn’t want to waste time just sitting there. For the record, I asked the prof if I could test out and he said no, so part of the newsletter reading was petty revenge.)

  6. And let me quantify what I’m saying about the kids.

    There’s the way that most preschool age kids I know behave – I mean, they’re not models of social behavior, with plenty of toy grabbing and whatnot, but they are generally nice to each other. Even when they’re not nice, it’s an innocent kind of not nice. The purpose isn’t necessarily to be mean to the other kid.

    But then, let’s take my nieces as the preschool example. After they started attending preschool, their attitudes got real poor. Before preschool, they’d been taken care of full time by my MIL, who did all sorts of preschool stuff with them. But after being in preschool (and then kindergarten and on up), they were really snotty. They were mean for the sake of being mean.

    But of course there are exceptions, I’m not trying to paint everyone the same color. For example, last week, Swing Des Moines taught the Charleston to all the students at Western Hills Elementary during their PE time. One first grader took a shine to Wally, had him stand next to him, coached him through the steps, asked him his name and his age, shared information about himself, and was so kind and gentle to him. He even defended Wally against some of the other kids in his class when they were trying to be mean to him. (I kept a close eye on the situation, because I didn’t want the kids to be distracted by Wally, and this kid was really good at talking only when it was appropriate and helping to model good listening when that was appropriate.)

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