Trying not to be discouraged

This morning at my weekly checkup, the baby’s heart had a marked decelleration (like down to around 100). It did come back up and accellerated nicely with movement, but then combine that with the fact that, while the baby feels bigger to Cosette’s hands, my fundal height hasn’t changed since Mid-September, and now everyone’s concerned about the baby.

So I’ll be going back in for another ultrasound (this will be #7, I believe) mid-week at Dr. Mintzer’s office. “For reassurance,” though I noted that if we were, in fact, reassured, it would be the first time I’ve ever left his office reassured rather than in tears.

I really am doing much better with this news than I’ve done with nearly any other type of discouraging news this pregnancy. I don’t know if I’m just worn out or if I really did cross some sort of zen threshold there in my semi-breakdown over the breech thing.

(Speaking of which, I actually reached out to a few friends for help dealing with that, which is so unlike me and also a really healthy thing for me to do, I think.)

But this is kind of what we’ve been afraid of all along. We’d get to the end and start having troubles with fluid and placenta, which can then lead to problems with the baby.

I also gained a new perspective on the whole low fluid/crapping out placenta/induction thing. Cosette had pointed out today that it’s kind of a balancing act. Low fluid can indicate the placenta’s not functioning well. That leads to a baby that doesn’t function well. Inducing because of low fluid and concerns about the placenta can actually often, particularly in second-time moms, lead to a better outcome than waiting. Because if we wait, and the placenta continues to degrade, the baby can start to have really serious problems coping with labor, and if you have strong decels after contractions, where the baby’s heart can’t get back up to baseline, then you’re looking at an emergency C/S. But, right now, I have a healthy baby in there who WOULD cope well with labor.

Now I’m tearing up a bit at the thought of being induced and in the hospital because DAMMIT that is NOT what I WANT. And I’d just like, for once, something to go my way this pregnancy! But it’s way better than an emergency transfer for a C/S. Or a stillbirth.

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3 responses to “Trying not to be discouraged

  1. Sarah — If you end up gettin induced, you will know it was truly indicated/needed. This bunch isn’t going to lead you astray (or they would have a long time ago). YOu aren’t making a knee-jerk/uneducated decision. Wait until after your next Mintzer appt and go from there. You’ve been rolling with the punches so far, so you may as well just stick to that plan. I know an induction is not what you ultimately want, but there’s a time and place when you have to give that up to reality. Reality bites. Drink drink drink and protein protein protein. Hang in there.

  2. I’m agreeing with Kelly. Keeping you and your baby healthy is a shared goal. You are in good hands. Keep trusting them.

    Lord, please wrap you arms around Sarah. Keep her and the baby safe, but also give Sarah a sense of peace knowing that you will help her bring that baby safely into this world. Amen

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