Idiot People and their Idiot Questions

OK, Idiot People might be a bit too harsh. Let’s stick just with idiot questions.

I kind of expected it with the homebirth. Apparently, by the way, we never did get around to telling Randy’s family. I told my whole family, though if my mom had still been alive, it would be a different story. Anyway, on trick or treat night, when Genevieve was a day old, I spent the evening at my SIL’s house while W and Randy went trick or treating with W’s cousins. My SIL spent the evening telling me how nice it was to have those days in the hospital to rest and get away from her other children. (I didn’t tell her that one of the reasons we wanted to be at home was we wanted W to be able to stay with us – call me crazy, but I LIKE the kid.)

Several of SIL’s friends dropped by with their kids (and we kept a safe distance!), and each and every one of them asked how we got out so early. It was interesting watching their faces as I said, “oh, we had her at home.” But everyone largely kept their opinions about this to themselves.

I’ll note, my aunt had all of her kids at home with lay midwives. A decision she has taken a LOT of heat for over the years. They were, during the time she was having children, members of one of those southern churches that believes that women should not see male doctors, but should only see other female members of the church for health problems. Or at least that’s how my mom explained it to me. I’ve honestly never asked her. But I do recall lots of unflattering opinions expressed around the dinner table about her and her crazy notions. ha. Well, my aunt called as soon as she heard the news and was THRILLED we had her at home. Her own daughter has taken a more conventional approach, and I think she’s been somewhat disappointed. Her reasons for choosing homebirth were vastly different from mine, but she does share the foundational idea that childbirth is not a health emergency. It’s nice.

But on to the idiot questions. Today, I got my first “is she a good baby” from a poll worker. I hesitated a minute, stuck between my natural desire to be polite and my strong desire to hit people who ask that question. Then popped out with “well, she’s not quite a week old, she hasn’t been around long enough to cause much trouble.” Not quite the “well, she’s already a week old and hasn’t committed any major crimes yet” I wanted to say, but also not the polished “is there such a thing as a bad baby” that used to be my standby with Wally. I’m about four years rusty on my smartass baby comments. I shall have to work on that.

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8 responses to “Idiot People and their Idiot Questions

  1. That always drives me crazy! What would people say if you said, “oh no, she’s horrible. Thank god this is just a trial run. If she’s doesn’t shape up quick we’re thinking of returning her.” You said it- some people are such idiots.

  2. You’re a crack up 🙂 I can’t believe you were so polite 😉 I HATE that question as well. I’ve started to get really sassy sometimes when people are asking dumb questions. Then I try to remember to have a gentle spirit 🙂 and that do USUALLY mean well. It depends on the day at which action wins out. Gentle response vs. Strangle Idiot Person with Bare Hands. Hmmmmm…..

  3. All that rest you get in the hospital?! I got NONE! I didn’t have much to complain about with my hospital birth…but the hospital stay after the birth was horrible for me. I got a grand total of maybe 3 hours of sleep in the 2 days that I was there! There was always someone coming in and waking me up!

    And I’ve heard the “good baby” thing once…and I ignored it because I didn’t much care for the person asking anyway.

  4. Rest at the hospital is ridiculous. They almost make it a torture chamber there with all the running in, temp taking and prodding. Ok, get some rest — b/c we are going to wake you up again in just 15 minutes!

  5. My usual response to the “good baby” question is, “We’re not planning to take him back to the baby factory.”

    I am a big believer in responding to stupid questions with jokes. As in, when someone asks why you keep picking up that baby or carrying that baby, or says you don’t need to pick up that baby so much, you can say, “My personal trainer says it’s good for me to lift a 10-pound weight 250 times a day.”

  6. Laurie, I wish I could do the joke thing. Thing is, I can’t pull it off, because I end up with this facial expression that is obviously pained combined with my naturally snarky and sarcastic tone of voice, and it never comes out light and joking. It comes out totally mean and horrific.

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