A compendum of frustration.
1. Dear Customer, You might be accustomed to dealing with very large companies where you feel like nobody cares about you or your concerns. I understand that you might, then, also be accustomed to feeling as though you have to be aggressive and, let’s face it, somewhat mean when communicating with these companies. However, if it wasn’t painfully obvious from my website, my business is not Amazon.com, and it’s not Target, and it’s not Buy.com. I don’t have a staff. The same person who sewed your stuff also packed it, processed your payment, shipped it, and answers email. I am a human being, and as I treat you like a person, I’d appreciate being given the same treatment.
2. Dear Customer, I must say, I admire your creativity. I wonder how long it took you to figure out that you could save a few bucks by ordering HALF of a package of 4 pads instead of 2 individual pads to save you that $1. I probably would have let you get away with it if you hadn’t also ordered half a package of 4 napkins, half a package of 4 hankies, and half a package of 12 wipes.
3. Dear Customer, I don’t know you. When you place your first order with me, unless we’ve met or exchanged emails, all I know of you is your name and address. I cannot even make the assumption that you’re the one using the items you purchased since, as often as not, people purchase things for others. So while I can appreciate that the prints I might have chosen for your Variety Pack do not suit your particular fancy, I have no way of knowing this in advance. This is why I provide the means to order individual items, so you can choose the exact print you want, and why I further provide a way for you to indicate, even in Variety Packs, if you have preferences. When you make no indication, I give you what you ordered – a variety. Emailing me with your age and why what I picked was not appropriate is not particularly helpful- that information would have been far more useful a few days ago.
4. Dear Customer, When you are in my store/house, and you ask me to show you how to wear a particular carrier, I believe it would be most useful for you to actually watch and listen, or to at least stop what you’re doing when I say “stop.” If you decide to try to put the carrieron without having paid any attention to my instructions, and as fast as you can, and the straps end up all twisted and your baby’s half crooked and lagging down near your knees, and then you complain because the carrier is “not comfortable,” I have a hard time concealing my laughter.
5. Dear Customer, When you set up an appointment to come see my store, after having, in your words, spent a lot of time at the website, I’m not sure why you’re surprised that I carry mostly Wallypop brand items.
6. Dear Customer, When you call, please give me your first AND last names. “Hi, Sarah, this is Amy” really just means that I won’t hear anything else you say because I’m too busy trying to remember who I know named Amy. I know that most of you don’t know this, but I have over 500 currently active customers, several old customers who still call on occasion, and also students from our evening dance lessons who call. Consider yourself lucky if I remember you at all, even with your full name. (Actually, identifying yourself by your most recent order is even better. 🙂 )
OK, I’m done. Not too many customers read this blog, and those that do – I’m probably not talking about you anyway.