Sarah answers common questions about parenting

“When I lay my newborn down, she doesn’t just go to sleep. She fusses and cries. How do I deal with this?”

This is because she is a BABY. She is genetically programmed with survival instincts. Those instincts tell her that alone = scary danger. She has not ever been alone since she was two separate cells. To expect her to just drift off because YOU decided it was time to lay down and go to sleep is not really reasonable.

Deal with it by adjusting your expectations. Hold her. Lay with her.

I find I can sometimes start to get resentful of all the holding babies require when I am just using my arms. So get a sling. Boom! Two free hands.

“My newborn only wants to sleep in the sling. How do handle this?”

Your baby just came out of your womb. A sling is like a womb. Warm, cozy, snug, close to mom. Hell, I’d sleep in one if I could. So let baby sleep there. Anticipate that if you put her down, she’ll wake up much sooner.

There you go.


5 responses to “Sarah answers common questions about parenting

  1. What do you do when your 27 month old won’t sleep in his toddler bed for the same reason? We cannot get our little guy to sleep by himself. He must be in Mom and Dad’s bed. Is this normal at this age? I was all for co-sleeping until he got bigger, but now there isn’t enough room in our bed for everyone, plus he kicks and Hubby goes out to the couch to get some shut eye and I miss my husband in my bed. 🙂

    Do I just need to give my little guy more time?


  2. well, I was kind of being a smart butt there, I am not a child sleep guru. I’ve never tried to get a child to sleep anywhere other than in bed with us. Wally’s always strongly needed physical contact, particularly for sleep. As a newborn, he would somehow creep over in his sleep so he was pressed up against one of us. We called him our heat seeking missle. So he’s always slept, not just in our bed, but plastered against us. (and he’ll be 5 next week.) We figure, he’ll move out when he’s ready, but he really just is NOT up for alone-ness, pretty much ever, particularly at night.

    So, I don’t know. I do know that oftentimes, the more you resist, the more the child digs in. Happens a lot with nursing. Mom wants to wean, child doesn’t, child asks and asks, mom makes a big deal out of NOT nursing, and knowing she can’t nurse makes child want it more. (Like, when I think about how I can’t afford to go to Disneyworld, it makes me want to go more, but most of the time I don’t even think about it and it’s totally not a big deal.)

  3. We have plenty of friends who have pushed two beds together so the whole fam can sleep together. Liv has her toddler mattress in our room as she wanted some independence but not THAT much.
    Oh, and Sarah, after yesterday, I can’t help but laugh:)

  4. Our children stopped wanting to co-sleep about age 6 or 7. Lucy is 5 (turned 5 in Oct.) and she is not yet really ready to sleep on her own. Our bed does not accomadate her and both of us, so we have a nap mat that is right next to the bed. She knows that she goes to sleep in her own bed, usually, but if she wakes up and needs to be with us, she has her own little mat right next to us. Sometimes she starts on the mat, but usually she is in her own bed for a couple hours first.

    when my first was 4 and 2nd was 2 and I was pregnant, we had a big enough room that we had all our beds, 1 queen and 2 twins on one wall. We had them all pushed together. It was great!

  5. You crack me up Sarah 🙂 Bella (5) is just now starting to sleep all night in her own bed, which is about 2 steps outside of our bedroom door. So for those of you wondering…children WILL initiate on their own to sleep on their own. In their own time. If your bed is too small to accomodate…just get a bigger bed or add a bed. It’s really easy 🙂 We love co-sleeping. I have a feeling after the new babe arrives, B might be right back in with the 3 of us! 🙂

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