If you have the same Facebook friends that I do, you might know inspired this post.
OK, as a mother, I sometimes say to people “I wish I could do that, but with the kids…” or something along those lines. OK, the specific thing that got me thinking about this today was two other FB friends talking about wanting to take college or community ed classes in varied topics. (I have been wanting to take v0-tech type classes for years… auto repair, welding, small engines, etc. I think my friends had in mind slightly more feminine topics like art and literature, but whatever.)
I haven’t been able to take any classes since having Wally.
Not just because of the kids. There was that now-foggy period of time when I had my own health concerns while providing a LOT of care for my mother while also running a home business and the idea of doing anything other than the absolute minimum required to get everybody through each day alive was utterly exhausting. (Sometimes when I wonder why I didn’t take advantage of the period of time after Wally didn’t need me so intensely but before Genna’s pregnancy, I suddenly remember why, and then I’m surprised that I’ve largely forgotten the details of that year.)
At any rate, when talking to people sometimes about this, the usual response (unless talking to someone within the, um, “I get it” community I’ve surrounded myself with) is something like “oh, it won’t kill them to be left alone with daddy for a while” or “it’s good for you to get out without the kids on a regular basis, they’ll be fine” or “stop worrying so much” or “can’t you get a babysitter” or whatever.
Sometimes, kids just CAN’T be left without mommy. And it’s miserble for mommy to know that her baby is crying nonstop the whole time she is away. It’s just not worth it.
And I know a lot of parents who do not feel that is necessarily a huge deal. I dont understand them any more than they understand me, I guess.