If you have the same Facebook friends that I do, you might know inspired this post.

OK, as a mother, I sometimes say to people “I wish I could do that, but with the kids…” or something along those lines. OK, the specific thing that got me thinking about this today was two other FB friends talking about wanting to take college or community ed classes in varied topics. (I have been wanting to take v0-tech type classes for years… auto repair, welding, small engines, etc. I think my friends had in mind slightly more feminine topics like art and literature, but whatever.)

I haven’t been able to take any classes since having Wally.

Not just because of the kids. There was that now-foggy period of time when I had my own health concerns while providing a LOT of care for my mother while also running a home business and the idea of doing anything other than the absolute minimum required to get everybody through each day alive was utterly exhausting. (Sometimes when I wonder why I didn’t take advantage of the period of time after Wally didn’t need me so intensely but before Genna’s pregnancy, I suddenly remember why, and then I’m surprised that I’ve largely forgotten the details of that year.)

At any rate, when talking to people sometimes about this, the usual response (unless talking to someone within the, um, “I get it” community I’ve surrounded myself with) is something like “oh, it won’t kill them to be left alone with daddy for a while” or “it’s good for you to get out without the kids on a regular basis, they’ll be fine” or “stop worrying so much” or “can’t you get a babysitter” or whatever.

Ugh, irritating!!

Sometimes, kids just CAN’T be left without mommy. And it’s miserble for mommy to know that her baby is crying nonstop the whole time she is away. It’s just not worth it.

And I know a lot of parents who do not feel that is necessarily a huge deal. I dont understand them any more than they understand me, I guess.


4 responses to “Irritating!!

  1. And to that I say….online classes for art and lit. Vo-tech is on my list, I am going to get my pilots liscence (sp?).

    And it is exactly why I only teach online. I have to work, but my babies need me.

  2. I also get a lot of comments about how I “need” to be away from Oli or it’ll be “good” for me. Why? He may be a “mama’s boy” right now, but I’m just as strongly attached to him as he is to me. And I think that’s perfectly healthy.
    Or why can’t I just leave him with a relative overnight so hubby and I can go on a late date? Oh my gosh, he’s STILL not sleeping through the night? I’m STILL nursing him at night? Oh my.
    Or why am I so picky about who I leave him with when I do have to go to work? I am his mother and I have the right to be completely anal about who cares for him and how they treat him.
    And babywearing…well, I’m just going to hurt my back carrying that baby all the time. He’s going to hurt his neck from looking up at my face all day long.
    Sometimes, I’m pretty good at ignoring all the comments. Other times, I get a little snippy. (But, then I get to vent through related blog posts.)

  3. I have been accused of being mentally ill and “needing” my kids more than they need me-especially when you see my state when I have to leave them for a bit. I am with ya on wanting to take classes, though. Not the auto ones-I have my live-in mech for that, but plenty of others. One day 😉

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