A personal situation here has got me thinking about lying. What are we really saying when we lie? I posed the question on Facebook and received a variety of thought-provoking responses. Particularly interesting were the varied lies that people thought were OK, vs ones that weren’t OK.
I’m not truly sure I see the benefit of lying, ever, though sometimes some serious creativity can get one out of sticky situations without lying and without hurting feelings.
I don’t like being lied to by those I am close to, particularly when those lies are obviously long-planned and needless. (I like even less when those telling the lies deny them and then persist in placing the blame on me.)
As I said on Facebook:
My original thinking was that, when we lie to someone (beyond just a white lie), we are telling them that we don’t love them – or value our relationship – enough to be truthful. That we value appearances more than reality – we’re so wrapped up in how we appear that how we actually are has lost its value. And/or that we don’t trust the person we’re lying to – we fear their reaction to the point that we must lie.