It’s Not Personal

Over the past several days (maybe months, I’ve lost track), I’ve seen a lot of “homophobia” and “if you don’t agree with being gay, you must hate gays” and “Republicans must not have gay friends.” (Ok, that last one was a direct Facebook quote from today, lol, but it’s hardly a unique statement.)

I don’t understand why it’s always assumed that it’s personal. If I don’t think homosexuality is morally acceptable, then I must hate gays, and I must hate them on a very personal level.

If I don’t agree with abortion, I must hate women who get them? If I don’t agree with adultery, then I must hate, personally, people who cheat on their spouses? What about people who don’t agree with eating meat? Do they all hate meat-eaters?

Is it not possible to love the person, but dislike/disapprove of their actions? To love the sinner and hate the sin?

I see all over the internet people bashing Christians for this idea, saying that it’s either not possible, or it just doesn’t happen. Do they not have kids? Or loved ones? My kids do things every day that I disapprove of. I still love them. Close friends and relatives have made major life choices that I consider to be morally unacceptable. I still love them.

I do not think that the choice to have sex with someone the same sex as you is an acceptable one. (whether you’re born desiring members of the same sex or not is irrelevant.) I don’t hate gays. I am not homophobic (afraid of gays). I do have gay friends. For a number of years, a woman who was a very dear friend of mine was also a lesbian. Her lesbianism (?) was not even something we discussed much, because it didn’t matter. She knew what I thought, I knew what she thought. And so we had other things to discuss.

There are many, many choices one might make that I do not think are acceptable. (I have a post in drafts about Not Every Life Choice Is Equally Good.) But that doesn’t mean I hate those who make those choices.


One response to “It’s Not Personal

  1. hate the sin love the sinner — it is a trite saying, but it is true. Good post Sarah. It is not personal — that is a probelm with a specific person — it is general — that is a problem with a behavior.

    if we had to / have to hate the person that makes a bad choice — we’d be forced to hate our children — as they make poor choices daily. :0)

    It is a micro-scale of the bigger picture, at least i think so, i can love my children even if they make poor chocies, but i am obligated to correct their choices and explain how it is wrong, while loving them and dislikeing the bad behavior.

    Good post

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