I’m a badass in my dreams

So, last night I didn’t really sleep, between the itching and the severe storms (at Okoboji). But the night before last, I had this dream:

We were living in my grandparents’ house, but with a slightly different layout. At night, we’re all in bed, and we hear a noise. For some reason, Randy has his gun under his pillow, and some big burgular guy comes into the bedroom and Randy scares him off with his man gun. In the meantime, I got my girly gun from the safe, where it lives. Note: I was seriously freaked out in the dream, but was able to calmly get the safe open on the first try. Yay me.

So later, I went out into the (dark) kitchen to get a drink, and I find the big burgular guy. He pulls his gun (looked like an assault rifle) on me. I, completely calm, aim at him and tell him to put his gun away and leave. I was scared, heart pounding, but very collected. He didn’t put his gun down. I told himI’d shoot him if he didn’t put it away. He didn’t. So I did. I just squeezed the trigger and shot him in the gut, then shot him one more time for good measure. So calm. Not steely, not cold. Definitely heart pounding, breathing fast. I turned away and started crying as I called the police. I mean, I was human. But I was able to do it. I was able to shoot somebody when it was necessary. (In my dream!)

Which is something I’ve been wondering about.

I mean, let’s not mince words. Why do people own handguns? They’re not for hunting. They’re for shooting people if the need arises. And when I bought this gun, I wanted one big enough to take somebody down, as opposed to just pissing them off. Not necessarily dead but, you know, not able to get up and come after me. And as I’m getting ready to take the mandatory safety class before applying for my permit to carry, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Actually, owning a weapon is a LOT of responibility, and having a permit to carry is a lot more responsibility. Part of that responsibility is being willing and able to use the thing if needed.

And I struggle with whether I can. If I have to, can I shoot somebody?

(note, statistics suggest that chances are very low that I’d ever have to: “Even criminals take the presence of a firearm seriously.  More specifically, everyday 550 rapes, 1,100 murders, and 5,200 other violent crimes are prevented simply by the presence of a firearm.  In less that 0.9% of these instances is the gun ever fired. “(National Crime Victimization Survey, 2000, Bureau of Justice Statistics, BATF estimates on handgun supply)  http://womenofcaliber.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/firearm-security-for-women/)

In my dream, the man had just threatened my family – and my children – and then was pointing his giant gun at me. Shooting him was definitely justified (and hell, I warned him). But I guess I hope I never find out in real life. I mean, I hope that my gun is only pulled out at the shooting range.

But it was nice to know that, at least in my dream, I could use it as the situation required.

Found this article to be interesting, by the way, comparing gun ownership rights with abortion rights.



3 responses to “I’m a badass in my dreams

  1. It is a BIG responsibility. But, one that we could face everyday, wether we have protection (a gun)or not, we need to be prepared to defend our family.

    I (Beau too)especially liked the “man gun” part of your story.

    I know you are allergic, but that is one more reason that we have dogs. If they manage to sneak past the outside dogs, the inside dogs will at least alert us to someone’s presence before they are at our bedside. The same with camping & being outdoors at night. The dogs will let us know that someone (or thing) is there, before we notice. Especially since I drive alot with me & the kids. The dogs have backed someone off the truck several times! But the added protection is usually within reach while the dogs are distracting them.

    Great storytelling & even better that you are facing your deepest thoughts (even in your dreams!).

    And yes, we NEED to face the facts that as women; we appear to be an easier (& maybe better) target.

  2. I know, I wish we could have a dog. I have read numerous places that they’re better than any alarm system.

    I read one article recently that women are usually targets because they appear to be easier than most men. But that it’s rare to find a woman who is carrying a weapon that she has the skills to use who appears meek and easily overpowered.

  3. And, ps, Randy has a Man Gun and I have a Girly Gun. His is big and very metal-looking and all square, rough edges. Mine is small and with a nice grip and all the edges are rounded and smooth and it feels nice in the hand. It doesn’t look scary, it looks girly. Except it’s not pink, I draw the line at pink guns.

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