I am pleased to report that Randy and I got done everything that was on each of our respective lists (he made his own list of his own choosing and wanted to work Friday evening and Saturday for as long as it took). I did not end up having to do any of his tasks (though I chose to do one as a fun surprise for him), and we both finished up with plenty of time to relax and play. He spent Sunday morning playing with his smoker, and we enjoyed Living History Farms and some fellowship with the Glanns on Sunday afternoon and evening, and I think a bit into Monday morning, as well. Other than some time Monday working on taking the pool down, we also spent Monday just chillaxin’.
Lest there be any confusion (ahem), I did not present Randy with a list of things he was supposed to do and demand he have them done on a certain deadline. He emailed me his list of things he wanted to do this weekend and I showed him mine. And I combined them into one blog post so I didn’t have to worry about losing a piece of paper. If his list had been “sit on my ass all weekend,” that might not have been 100% fine with me, but I guess I would have just done my stuff regardless, and the pool and lawn would have sat neglected and life would have moved on.
It should not be a surprise to anyone who lives in a home that there are tasks that need to be done around a home, just to keep it running. Those tasks are not all mine to complete. By mutual agreement, Randy has areas of his jurisdiction, and I have my own.
Also, though I’ve always said that if you notice something and it bothers you, then take care of it yourself, I’ve started to notice something that bothers me, and that’s that I’m the only one in the house who notices things and takes care of them. So I’m taking care of that problem by trying to encourage higher levels of Observation and Ownership among the other dwellers in this house. We all live here. We can all help keep it tidy. Nobody disagrees with this idea, but it’s the implementation that’s a little lax. Yes, I’m sure other people’s children do things like spontaneously pick up the silverware that was carelessly left on the table after a meal. Though my kids are really good – REALLY good – about putting away toys, markers, etc., there is still room for improvement in owning messes that you didn’t makes.
It should also not be a surprise to anyone in a marriage that marriage is a partnership, with each person helping the other. If I’m overwhelmed by my to-do list, it’s Randy’s job to help me. If he’s overwhelmed by something he has to do, it’s my job to help him. So I don’t honestly think he would have been upholding his end of the marriage bargain if he really did just sit on his ass all weekend while I took care of kids and also took care of the Going Into Fall things that needed to be done. And because he’s generally a good guy, I don’t think he WOULD do that, either.
I would also not be upholding my end of the marriage bargain if I didn’t ever let him sit and relax, because that is a need as much as getting the lawn mowed is a need. (And why I stay up until 2 some days. I need that alone relaxing time.)
Sometimes I do end up having to take care of his stuff because it’s not getting done and it bothers me more than him or because it just simply must be done. (Weed whacking for example.) Sometimes I’m really stressed about everything I have to do on a daily basis and adding those few extra tasks is enough to drive me straight over the edge. Particularly weed whacking, because it HAS to be done (it’s not optional and even if it’s not a priority, it’s the law) and I can’t do it with children (Genna will get run over and it’s too dangerous to do with her in the carrier, with the hills, the weed bits fly pretty high and they sting).And sometimes this makes me grumpy, because it’s not like I’m ever just sitting around with nothing to do, you know? But I get over it.
Regardless, we had a good weekend.