I know I’ve written about this in the past, but I feel like being repetitive.
If you make a choice in your life – own it!
It’s so much more empowering to own your choices than to see yourself as a victim of circumstances. Yes, it can be hard sometimes. Sometimes you make choices that you aren’t proud of, or that you are afraid others will criticize you for. Well, guess what? We all make mistakes sometimes, and someone will criticize you no matter what you choose.
So, go – be bold! Make your choices, then stand by them and point at them and say “That. That right there is My Choice.”
Did you decide to fully vaccinate your kids on the CDC schedule? Then own it. Don’t hide behind “well, we had to, because…” Own your decision. “We chose to because…”
Did you decide to have a repeat C/S instead of a VBAC? Own it. “I decided this was the best thing for our family.” That is so dramatically different than “I wanted a VBAC but was unable to have one.” (I’m not saying everyone who doesn’t have a VBAC didn’t really want one, not at all.)
Do you cosleep with your six year old? Own it. This is how our family sleeps the best.
Yeah. Folks may be critical. Someone will always have something to say about everything. There’s very little you can do about that. But being honest with yourself about your choices is a good way to combat these criticisms.
Honesty. In some (many?) ways, it’s harder to be honest with yourself than it is to be honest with others, but unless you are honest with yourself, you cannot be honest with others.
The difference mentally and spiritually to YOU is huge. Are you a strong decision-maker, making the best decisions you can with the information available? Or are you a victim, forced into situations completely out of your control?
And the difference to others is huge, too. The VBAC one (like breastfeeding, natural childbirth, working outside the home, etc.) is a good example of this. Imagine the difference to a mom pregnant with her second baby after having an unplanned C/S with her first. Which is more empowering to her? Hearing “Oh, I wanted a VBAC, but I couldn’t have one because the baby was too big on the ultrasound” or whatever. Or hearing, “you know, we considered trying a VBAC, but ultimately decided that wasn’t what was best for our family.” Which equips her best to make a good decision of her own?
(Again, I’m talking about folks who did not want a VBAC, but also don’t want to own up to not wanting one, not folks who really did want a VBAC, but did not ultimately get one. Or mamas who really do want to work, but who don’t want to own up to that desire. Not folks who actually do want to stay home but are truly unable. Etc.)