New Plans, Old Plans

Found this list of Things That Were Going To Change from 2006.

Let’s see how I did.

1. all meals at table, together. Well, we do this for the most part. Not breakfast, which is kind of unscheduled and casual around here most days. Lunch, usually, particularly since I stopped pumping. Dinner, always.

2. cooking. We did great for a long time. And then Teddy. But we’re much better since transplant. But we kind of backed into this one. Randy tends to use more convenience foods, even though he can cook from scratch. But when Randy cooks dinner, he can’t seem to get it done before 8:00 or 8:30. Which used to be fine, but since Teddy’s got an inflexible schedule that demands that I give him meds at 9:00, and he’s generally ready for his night routine about that time anyway (because it’s long – meds and prepping night feed and blood pressure and temp and this and that and the other thing), eating after 8 doesn’t work for me. So I’ve started cooking more, not because I have time or energy, but because if I want to eat at a decent time, I have to. And I tend to cook simpler meals, but more from scratch.

3. Housekeeping is a priority for everyone. Hahahaha. The kids are really good. Wally will generally clean up after himself on his own with little prompting. Genna doesn’t think about it usually (though sometimes she does and it’s awesome), but will clean up after herself with prompting, without argument or discussion. Teddy doesn’t clean up unless it’s part of a game where the very next thing we do is take all of the toys back OUT. lol.  Randy is still the weak spot in this, and I still need to work on changing MY attitude about it.

4. Mama time. Never happened. Some time, I did start working one entire night – I started as soon as Randy got home and kept at it until 3 or 4 am, and that gave me alone time. Not really time to delve into the Bible, but definitely time to meditate while working and to have some me time. I don’t get to do that any more, and frankly, I’m not sure when I will.

In the meantime, this is a good reminder to me that I should try to make this a priority. I’m with Teddy literally 24/7 and I provide all of his medical needs. After nearly 2 years, this is turning me into Grumpy Mommy Who Is Tired Of Everyone Always Needing Something From Her.

5. Kids are the priority. Yeah, I suck at this. I suck at making EACH kid the priority. And I’m burned out and it makes me less patient than I could be, to boot.

6. Swing Des Moines. I quit. 🙂 I still do the website, though I’ve recently instituted changes to enable this to become NOT my responsibility. I still answer the phone, but I’m trying to change that. And I still do the email, but that will also be going away. Then I’m 100% done. I don’t get to dance any more, I don’t get to teach any more, and it kind of sucks that I just get to do all the secretarial work.

I should note, SDSM got markedly more fun after the original note in 2006. A few things happened that relieved some of the stress and the un-fun, and we took steps to lessen our classload somewhat. I love love teaching, but we were getting burned out. By the time we had to face the music that continuing to teach was just not going to be feasible, I was very sad to have to give it up. I still miss teaching. And dancing. And the performance troupe. I was tired of having to be in charge of everything,

7. We were really good at this for a while, and I’ve been strongly suggesting to Randy that he needs to get better at it again with the big kids, but I have my hands full getting Teddy to sleep every night and he does the big kids, so it’s out of my hands.

8. I forgot that we were planning to pay off debt and save up and rent out the house and travel. Well, we went in the opposite direction with debt. Not terribly bad, but when I stop and add up the money we’ve spent on gas since Teddy was born… well, that’s where any amount of money we might have saved has gone, and that’s the main thing that has contributed to our uptick in the debt department. As for renting out the house and traveling… well, that’s off the table. Perhaps forever. But I’ll have to read up on what people with medical needs do for doctoring while on the road. Would we be restricted to traveling only to areas with good peds nephrology departments? That will cut down dramatically on the places we could go, lol. What do we do for regular clinic appointments? (he will never hit a point, I do not believe, where he gets to go a full year between appointments… but maybe we could do labs local to where we are and discuss on the phone? And by the time this could ever be a reality, I should be really good at checking his lymph nodes, right?)

I haven’t set goals for myself the last two years. Well, untrue. Our goal for 2012 was Survive. That was it. And we did. I stuck with that for 2013 and we seem to have gotten through ok so far. But I’m ready for some new goals, to be striving to achieve something greater than merely making it through 365 days. I’ll be working on my 2014 list. 🙂


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