Sending your sick kids to school/daycare. Just don’t do it.

A recent conversation online went like this:

– I sent my kid with a contagious virus back to daycare after a day because our pediatrician said it would be ok.
– huh. The CDC says that illness is contagious for at least several days up to a few weeks.
– What am I supposed to do? Keep her home?
– Well, yes, generally it’s good to keep people who you know have a contagious illness home.
– My husband and I both work, neither of us can stay home with a sick kid. I don’t know what you think we’re supposed to do here. I let daycare know she was sick. That’s the best I can do.

Really?

I get that people have to work, OK? I do. But part of having kids is having sick kids. If you have no ability to provide care for a sick child – if neither parent can miss a day or two of work, and there are no other friends or family members who can care for a sick child – then you have a problem. It’s like having a baby and then being surprised that people expect you to feed and clothe that child. Providing basic care for your own children is a big basic part of having kids.

(Before we get sidetracked – being thrust into a situation you weren’t expecting is NOT what we’re talking about here. People get unexpectedly pregnant when they can’t afford a child. People are unexpectedly thrust into poverty and are unable to feed their kids without help. Kids get unexpectedly seriously ill and it does cause a major work-related issue with parents. But what I’m discussing here is regular, everyday contagious illnesses. The flu. Colds. Respiratory viruses. HFM.)

Kids get sick. You can’t be surprised when it happens. In fact, if people send their sick kids to school and daycare, you will have sick kids more often.

Thought about that? *YOU* can’t afford to take time off to care for your sick child, so you send them to school and daycare. Because YOU are the single most important person on the planet. YOU cannot miss work. But, evidently, you feel like the parents of all the other daycare kids, or kids in your child’s class at school, CAN miss work. Because when their kids catch whatever your kid has, they’re going to have to take time off from work. Time they wouldn’t have had to take if your kid had just stayed home.

But wait. What does that mean? That’s right – it means that YOUR kid is probably sick because some other jerk sent THEIR kid to school or daycare sick.

Now, sometimes it’s an accident. Kid doesn’t seem sick and you don’t know they’re brewing something, and they pass it along while they’re still asymptomatic. Or kid says they don’t feel well, but parent doesn’t believe them and sends them anyway. Sure, that happens.

But when you KNOW your kid is contagious… then sending them isn’t an accident. It’s being an asshole.

Don’t be an asshole.

NOW, besides all the other parents you’ll inconvenience by your oh so important work schedule that “forces” you to send your child to school or daycare with a contagious illness, consider whether one of the other children, or one of the other adults in those children’s lives, is particularly vulnerable.

Teddy doesn’t go to school or daycare, but what if he did? Are you OK with Teddy having a week or two in the hospital because YOU couldn’t miss a day or two of work? If you are, then you’re an asshole. Don’t be an asshole.

Or, to make it more relevant to the news right now, what if a classmate of your child’s has severe asthma? You send your kid with a respiratory virus to school, knowing he’s probably contagious, but he’s not “sick enough” to stay home. You don’t know it, but he has Enterovirus D68, which in most healthy kids is just a bad cold. Kids are disgusting, so your kid wipes his nose on his hand and then opens the door to the classroom. Asthma Kid opens the door next, then bites his fingernails. A week later, he’s in the ICU with D68. You maybe never hear about it, or you hear about it but don’t think much of it, not realizing that YOU are the asshole who sent this kid to the ICU.

Don’t be the asshole. Keep your sick kids at home.

After seeing in the last week four different mentions of antibiotic use in livestock and whether it does or does not contribute to drug-resistant superbugs, I did some reading this morning.

First, I want to mention WHY I care about this. Teddy’s more likely to get infections. He’s more likely to die of infections. I kind of have grown attached to him.

I’ll also add this: how about if we raise our animals in an environment where they don’t require antibiotics just to make it to harvest? I’m not necessarily opposed to animal lots or conventional animal farming. But if you have to dose your animals with antibiotics just to keep them alive until you can harvest them, wouldn’t that tip you off that maybe there’s a problem?

 

 
http://www.nrdc.org/food/saving-antibiotics.asp

“over 80 percent of all antibiotics used in the United States are used in food animals (and the vast majority of this use is for animals that are not sick).”

“Many studies show a multitude of resistant organisms on meat and poultry products purchased in grocery stores. For example, a recent study of meat and poultry from five U.S. cities found Staphylococcus aureus on 47 percent of samples. Ninety-six percent of those samples were resistant to at least one antibiotic, and 52 percent were multi-drug resistant.”

“When farm animals receive antibiotics in doses too low to kill all the infectious bacteria in them, those bacteria that survive and flourish do so because they are resistant to the drug. As they multiply and interact with other bacteria, they pass on their resistance. Bacteria can even share the traits that make them drug-resistant with other kinds of bacteria, leading to widespread drug-resistance and the creation of bacterial super-bugs.”

 

Click to access Overuse_of_Antibiotics_On_Farms.pdf

Numerous studies have demonstrated that routine use of antibiotics on the farm promotes drug-resistant superbugs in those facilities. Some of the most dramatic evidence came as a result of FDA approval of flouroquinolones–a class of antibiotics that includes Cipro (ciprofloxacin), which has been used in poultry production since 1995. By 1999 nearly 20 percent chicken breasts sampled contained ciprofloxacin-resistant Camplobacter, adisease-causing bacteria.

After a long fight in the courts, FDA finally banned use of the drug in 2005, at which point nearly 30 percent of C. coli found in chicken breasts were ciprofloxacin resistant; by 2010, resistance to ciprofloxacin had declined to 13.5 percent.

This article goes on to discuss how these superbugs find their way to humans, which occurs both through contaminated food, as well as through the environment (through people on farms spreading them the good old-fashioned way, through water and air).

I found this to be particularly interesting, considering a recent Facebook “thing” I saw claiming that most of the drugs used in animals can’t affect humans anyway:

The industry says that 40 percent of all the antibiotics used on the farm are drugs (called ionophores) not used in human medicine, so it doesn’t matter if bacteria become resistant to them. However, a study by scientists from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and Cornell University involving monensin, one of the most commonly used ionophores in cattle production in the U.S., demonstrated that use of monensin in cattle feed and the selection of monensin-resistant ruminal bacteria lead to a 32-fold increase in resistance to bacitracin, which is used in human medicine.

This study demonstrates that one cannot claim that ionophores cannot select for cross resistance to any antibiotic used in human medicine. The study called

for more research.

 

The FDA has banned the use of medically important drugs in livestock for growth promotion purposes. But this seems completely ineffective considering that there is no ban on their use to compensate for overcrowding and unsanitary conditions.

“On Wednesday, December 11, 2013 the FDA released the final FDA Guidance for Industry #213 and draft Veterinary Feed Directive (VFD). This is the first time since 1977 the FDA has taken broad action against the use of antibiotics in livestock. Once fully implemented, these policies will eliminate the use of medically important antibiotics for growth promotion. Still, the Obama administration will need to eliminate the use of antibiotics for other sub-therapeutic purposes, such as the use of low-dose antibiotics in healthy animals to account for unsanitary conditions and overcrowding.”  http://www.tufts.edu/med/apua/policy/policy_antibiotic_food_animals.shtml

 

Plus, the FDA’s “Ban” is hardly anything resembling an actual BAN.

After identifying this problem 35 years ago, the FDA is now simply asking veterinary drug manufacturers to stop advertising growth promotion as a legitimate use on drug labels. These companies have 90 days to tell the FDA whether or not they will comply, and will then have an additional three years to change the labels. http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/12/11/3049561/fda-antibiotic-animal-guidelines/

Passive-Aggressive

Passive Aggressive is “the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.”

I’m providing this definition as a public service.

I’m sorry that you’re dumb

Today, I had a “I’m sorry that you’re dumb” send-off. Removed a blog from my feed. Ahhhhhh. Feels good. Was talking to a friend about a blog I’ve followed for a while, and she insightfully observed that this blog only ever  annoys me, and is unlikely to get any better. Wow, you are totally right, I said. Somehow, hearing it stated the way it was (using different words than I paraphrased here) really made me see the truth of the situation and totally changed my perspective.

In trying to decide what’s worth my time and what isn’t… This isn’t.

😀

Off to go pare down on some other blogs…

Read into it?

Ever notice the insane tendency people have to read into innocent things their or others’ kids do and attempt to predict the future?

Kid throws a ball: oh, he’s going to be a basketball player!

Kid draws: oh, she’s going to be such an artist!

Kid mimics those around him: oh, he’s going to X!

Ugh.

Genna used to pick up tools and fix things every time I got out tools to fix things. I doubt she is going to be a handyman when she grows up. (though, like all my kids, I do plan to make sure she can use tools and fix things.)

Wally used to cut up scrap fabric and pin it together as I worked. I dont think he’s going to be a tailor. (though he will move out of this house knowing how to sew.)

Teddy pushes on his arms when the phlebotomist or nurse starts looking for a vein. I don’t think it’s a sign that he’s going to draw labs for a career.

Kids mimic what they see. It doesn’t point to any sort of particular talent.

November is a month…

Saw a FB “thing” today that said “November is the month when everyone who’s spent the last 11 months complaining on FB suddenly starts saying what they’re thankful for.”

And, yeah.

Here’s my take on that.

I choose to unload most of my grievances on FB. I don’t really see humans in person much these days, and FB is how I connect with my community – with the good AND the bad. If I’m happy about something, I post it. If I’m frustrated, I post it. I don’t really filter that much – at least, not based on “how do I want other people to see me.” I don’t really stop and think if something meshes with the “me” that I want other people to see on FB – because the me on FB is the same me you get in person. Though in person I’d probably talk a lot less unless we were one-on-one.

But just because I choose to share the things that frustrate me or the things that annoy me – in addition to the things that make me happy or the things for which I am grateful – on a daily basis doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful for a *lot* of stuff. I am grateful on a daily basis for some things that everyone is grateful for – and for a good many things that many people would never think to be grateful for.

But I did the Post Something You’re Thankful Every Day In November thing last year (when we were in the hospital for most of August through November, ugh), and it felt really awkward. “Today, I’m grateful for X.” I mostly wanted to post “Every single day of my life, I’m grateful for X.” Or the things I was feeling thankful for were not things other people would understand, and the effort explaining would require was too much. It just was awkward all month long.

So I’m not doing it this month. But here’s some things I’m thankful for:

• When simple things go right. On the rare occasion that our medical supplies order arrives on time and with everything it’s supposed to contain – Yay.
• Selfless heroic awesome human beings like Tiff and Steph.
• Awesome doctors who sometimes frustrate me, but who always have our best interests at heart.
• Something I don’t care to talk about, but that has improved significantly recently.
• Teddy’s G-Tube.
• Teddy’s new kidney.
• The support our family has available to it, in the form of friends, professionals, etc.
• Homeschooling.
• Wally.
• Genna.
• Teddy.
• Randy.
• Facebook
• Netflix and Prime. Call me shallow. I can’t turn on a light when Teddy’s not sleeping, but I sure as heck can watch TV.
• A hospital in our state that’s staffed with awesome, caring people. And a few annoying idiots, but those annoying idiots give me something to bitch about, so in a way, I’m thankful for them, too.
• Blenders.
• Walking. Talking. Vocalizing. Putting things in his mouth.
• Insurance. Our insurance.
• Having a house, food, cars, TVs.
• iPod Touches and Nintendo DSs and DVDs and movies on devices.
• Blogs – mine and especially others’
• The internet, computers, phones, smart phones.

And I love, as always, this post from Uncommon Sense. We are more thankful than you are.

I’m also learning these last few years a kind of gratefulness that I never really thought about before: thankfulness for things my kid can do that other kids can’t do. When I hear Teddy making sounds and starting to talk, I’m doubly grateful because I know kids who can’t vocalize yet, and parents who would pay good money to hear those sounds. When Teddy can’t sleep for his nap unless he’s completely sprawled across me, preventing me from doing any of the items I might normally like to do during a nap, I’m thankful because I know parents who never got to snuggle their little ones – particularly, a mom whose child has ASD who just simply refused to snuggle. When my kids are annoying the ever loving crap out of me, I’m grateful that they’re all here, alive, able to annoy the ever loving crap out of me, because I know parents whose kids are no longer here to annoy the ever loving crap out of THEM. I know most people sort-of, kind-of think about these things. We’re annoyed that the dishwasher breaks, and then quickly realize we should be grateful we have a dishwasher, the money to fix or replace it, and electricity and a house. But knowing real faces, real kids, real parents who are envious of the things I get to enjoy – as I’m envious of the things other parents get to enjoy – really drives this kind of thankfulness home.

Grace in Parenting

over at Different Dream. Just go read it. (if you can, I can’t get this to load just at the moment – it shows up in my Feedly just fine, but the actual website won’t load.)

Yes, yes, and more yes. Not even limited to special needs issues. Grace in parenting. I do what I don’t want to do and don’t do what I do want to do. I need to print this one out.

Nice

When you’re discussing something with someone, being nasty, mean, judgy, or ridiculous really rarely helps your argument.

Several followers from the carseat blog I linked to yesterday came over here to call names and rush to the defense of their blog. Which I understand. I guess. I mean, to a certain extent, I guess, I don’t understand why people are so threatened when others disagree with them, but whatever.

I had planned to quote some of the nasty things that were said, but have decided not to give these people even that much satisfaction. I will quote one thing, though – the desire one commentor had to see children hurt so she could say “I told you so.” Um… really?

So I didn’t approve the nastiness. Anyone with non nasty comments is welcome at any time, though.

A New Leaf

I’m turning over a new leaf.

Maybe.

Ha.

I’m going to try to get back to being the person who didn’t focus so much on the downside. Who enjoyed life a bit more. Who isn’t just bogged down with the 10 thousand tiny details of my life. Who focuses on the blessings God’s given her.

But I’m not going wholly over to Little Miss Sunshine. That’s not me and that’s not real and I’m not going to create a new fake me. I know people who have done this and it makes me ill. I don’t have the stamina for that crap. I have no interest in creating a pretty picture and keeping the real me deeply buried. I want to be real, because that’s a) honest and b) the only way to actually create meaningful relationships.

So hopefully, you’ll start seeing me, but better. The Me that you might have known if you’d known me several years ago. The Me that you’ll find if you page back through this blog a few years.

Realistic but maybe not so grumpy. (or, you know, Grumpy Pants, as people claiming to be my friends have called me behind my back.) (And I’d challenge you to live my life for the last 2.5 years and NOT come out more than a little frazzled and grumpy. Shit, just simply not sleeping as much as I’ve not slept for 2 years will make a person grumpy, let alone all the crap.)

I’m also seriously going back to being the person who does NOT feel she needs to keep an eye on *certain situations* just in case. I’m confident at this point that if I need to know something, someone will let me know. It’s better for everyone if I just don’t look at the constant stream of negativity and cut-downs. Definitely better for me, and hopefully, since I lack the self-restraint to not mention the crap to others, also better for everyone. And better for the *certain situation.* 🙂

But that’s relevant here because not seeing a constant stream of negative comments about me will help me in my Turning Over The New (or is it old??) Leaf Venture.

Logical Fallacies

Logical fallacies. If you plan to participate in any sort of serious discussion, whether that be about politics with a rival for public office or breastfeeding with your mother in law, learning about logical fallacies will only be to your benefit. They don’t teach this in schools, unfortunately. (maybe in debate, I dont know.)

One very common fallacy is the ad hominem.

An ad hominem involves attacking the person, not the argument.

I actually couldn’t get the page I wanted to link to to load, so I’m settling for Wikipedia… However, wikipedia has a nice pyramid diagram showing an ad hominem to be better only than mere name calling, lol. (name calling: “well, you’re mean and dumb.” Ad hominem: “but you don’t even have a college degree.”)

If an ad hominem (or, worse, name calling) is your first reaction to being disagreed with, that says something interesting about you as a person. (I mean, more than occasionally – we all have those 6 year old “yeah, well you eat boogers” moments.)

But if you stick with that long enough to write it out and share it with others… That’s just lazy thinking. That’s admitting you don’t have a leg to stand on. Or, it’s inadvertently (or purposely) using faulty thinking and poor reasoning. You shoot yourself in the foot, as you’re making your own argument or position invalid.

You put yourself in a much stronger position when you avoid logical fallacies!

Also, as this website points out, logical fallacies are often used by ads and politicians. Learning the basics of logical fallacies helps you to see through their crap. That’s always good.

(note: not a scholar of logic. The study of logic appeals to me, but I’ve only dabbled. However, learning some basics of logical fallacies a long while back helped improve both my writing and my speaking – as well as my thinking.)